Healer Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I didn't wake up until nearly 7:30.

"Shit," I grumbled groggily. I quickly grabbed my stuff and stumbled to the nurse's station. "Can I borrow your phone?"

"Sure." The nurse smiled in a way that made me worry.

"Nathan, hey. Sorry about being late. I didn't expect to sleep so long."

"It's fine. I called the hospital when I got here and you weren't back yet. They told me you were still sleeping in the lounge." I glanced at the nurse and she was giggling. Apparently my sex-life, or lack-there-of, was the big news of the week. "I've been eating your chili and reading your books, but I'm bored. You should come home." His tone was low, seductive. I blushed, which just made the nurse, she looked sixty, twitter louder.

“I’m leaving now.” I tried to make it sound light, I’m not sure how well that came across. I replaced the phone, trying not to meet the eyes of the nurse.

As I put my purse on my shoulder she said, just loudly enough for me to hear, “That’s a fine man you’ve got. And I do mean fine.” She winked at me. It took a lot of self-control for me to not run out of the hospital.

Nathan greeted me at the door with a kiss and led me into the den. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and I’d noticed his truck in the driveway.

“What’s this?” I asked as he gestured for me to sit on the couch.

“I’m welcoming you home after a long day of work, with a bowl of chili that, okay, you cooked. Let me take off your shoes and rub your feet.” He’d handed me the bowl of chili and tugged my legs onto his lap. I twisted so that my back was resting on the arm of the couch. It was nice.

“But…why?” My body squirmed involuntarily as his hands began to work their magic on my feet.

“I’ve had plenty of time to think about you during the last two days. And I realized that sex is just a minor part of a healthy relationship…

“Dr. Ruth would beg to differ,” I interrupted.

“And I don’t want to lose you because of something so minor,” he finished, ignoring my interruption. “Plus I’ve been thinking about your power and what exactly happens to me. I don’t feel poorly while I’m under your spell,” Not my spell! I wanted to shout, but refrained. “And I have some awareness. So, I don’t see why we need to let it stop us.” His right hand left my feet and started massaging its way up my leg. It felt delicious, but I realized what he was trying to do.

“Wha…stop!” I slid my legs off of him and moved away, setting the chili on the table.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Nathan held his hands up. “I thought you wanted…”

I shook my hands at him. “You’re fine. It’s me.” Stupid, stupid man! Oh this was awkward. “Look, I get what you’re offering me, but it’s not what I want. I… uh…I need for you to be here for that. I can’t just use you.” I knew my face was bright red.

“Oh…um…you’re a virgin?” He looked embarrassed.

“Yeah.” I said shortly, not looking at him.

“Okay. I…uh…didn’t think about that. Of course you wouldn’t want to just throw yourself at me. Not that you would do that if you weren’t a virgin. Umm…”

I laughed, a little hysterically, “Oh there are plenty of ladies at the hospital who would jump your bones at the slightest wink, whether or not you’re mentally present.” I sobered some. “I need a bit more guidance.”

“No problem.” Nathan tentatively handed me back my bowl of chili and reached for my feet again. I ate while he rubbed and told me about how dull his day had been. “I parked centrally downtown for three hours and I was only reprieved from that when the chief called me to do a coffee and donut run. Do not make any jokes,” he said, raising his finger and glaring.

“I’d never.” I said sagely. “Were they jelly?”

Nathan grabbed my empty bowl while reaching to tickle my side. I’m incredibly ticklish and I don’t think I’d told Nathan that yet. I squealed and squirmed, trying to avoid his hands, but there wasn’t much room to maneuver on the couch and he was adept at keeping me from escaping. I tried to tickle him back, but that wasn’t affective. I needed relief; I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine, rubbing myself against him. It worked and he froze.

“Hah.” I gasped. “I found your Achilles heel.” I looked up at him while I got my breathing under control—he’d straddled me at some point and before he’d froze he’d put his hands on both sides of my head to keep his weight off of me. His mouth was still in kissable range and his expression was scorching, even with his eyes half-closed. I kissed him again while I pulled his desire away.

His mouth started moving against mine again, but uncertainly. I was contemplating whether I should take his shirt off while he seemed to be confused about what to do with his tongue. We kept kissing as his confidence grew and my desire faded to a more natural level.

I pulled back from him. “Do you really think we should do this?”

“I want to. It feels weird, but I love kissing you,” he said, moving to put his mouth back on mine.

“What do you mean it feels weird?” I asked, pushing on his shoulders gently to make him look at me.

“Huh? Oh, I’m not sure. I mean, I’m kissing you with part of me literally shut off. It feels good... no...great, but I actually have to think about it. I guess I’ve been using my natural instinct to kiss before, and now I’m stuck using my real brain.” He smiled down at me nervously. “I hope I’m doing a good job: I’ve never been worried about my kissing skills before, which is actually a bit arrogant now that I think about it.

“Well, the girls at the hospital want to know whether or not you’re a good kisser, so I’ll tell you the same thing I told Natalie: I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been really kissed before,” I admitted.

“Wow. I’m your first for everything then?”

“Yeah.” I liked the implications of that statement.

“Talk about pressure. You’ll measure every man that succeeds me up to the standard that I set.”

“What makes you think that there will be other men?” I asked a bit indignantly.

“Good,” he growled and kissed me possessively. “Are we official yet?”

“What?”

“Fred will want to know that you’re officially considering yourself my girlfriend. I’m not pressuring you or anything, but I’ve never felt this strongly about a woman before.”

I sighed and looked up at him. Half of me was screaming to say yes because I really thought I was falling in love with him. The other half of me was saying no because I really thought I was falling in love with him. But falling in love with him meant that I was going to hurt a lot when he decided that he needed more than foot massages, good food, and the occasional ten minute kissing match.

“What’s wrong?” he asked after I hadn’t said anything for five long minutes.

“I just don’t want to get hurt,” I said finally, my voice strained. I pushed against his chest to tell him to move so that I could sit up.

“I won’t hurt you, ever,” he told me firmly, settling next to me with his arm around me.

“Not now. But what happens in six months, a year, when you decide that you need sex? You already offered yourself for me to use as a…” I couldn’t say it. “Sure, we would both get carnal satisfaction, but I know it’s not enough, even if I could do things that way with you.” Tears escaped my eyes and I wiped them away furiously. “I realize that you aren’t shallow, but let’s face the facts. You are a man, you have needs, and I can’t fulfill them.”

“There are plenty of ways for me to get satisfaction without your help and without cheating on you.”

“I know that. And I’m actually a girl who doesn’t believe that that stuff is cheating, so please feel free to use those outlets. But that’s still not going to replace the pleasure that comes from physically being with a woman—you are going to desire that and no matter how much you fight it, you are going to leave me to be able to lie in the arms of another. And I hope to God that when you do, we won’t be together because I don’t take kindly to cheaters.”

“I’m not going to cheat on you. I’m stronger than you give me credit for.”

“Now. But think about the future. Do you really thing that you can sustain yourself with magazines?”

“I can when I have you to cuddle with afterwards. And what about you? Are you telling me that you will be satisfied with being a virgin your whole life? Or are you going to want a man who can send you to the moon without taking a vacation there himself? I might call you a saint because you give more of yourself than you have, but when it comes to this, you have no more self-control than I have.” He glared at me, daring me to try and top that. Then he waggled his eyebrows at me, ruining the effect.

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to laugh or cry. I hugged him. “Ugh. It’s stupid of me, and I will be a sappy mess when it ends badly, but right now I just want to be with you,” I told him, my head resting on his shoulder.

I felt his breath on my neck. “I promise that if I ever feel the need to sleep with a woman, you will be the first to know.”

I sat back and looked at him. “And if I ever get the desire to…uh…change my virginal status, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Good. Then I can set up some mood lighting and music and draw you a few diagrams to guide you along after I take my mini-vacation. ‘Put item one into hole two…’” I smacked him playfully and he pulled me tight against him. “We’ll figure this out,” he murmured into my hair.

“Yeah.”

After awhile I sat up and looked at him shyly. “Do you want to stay the night?”

“Yes,” he said instantly. He followed me up stairs to my bedroom. I grabbed some pajamas out of my drawer before going into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. Nathan had already taken his shirt and belt off and was standing barefoot waiting for me. He was just as muscled as I’d imagined. I knew that nothing would happen tonight, but I was still suddenly nervous.

“Uh…if you want to brush your teeth, there’s an extra toothbrush on the counter in the bathroom,” I told him, awkwardly jerking my arm to point out the door.

He grinned. “Ah, the subtle hint that my breath stinks.”

“Wait, what? I didn’t say that at all!” But he was already walking past me to the bathroom. It took me a full minute to realize that he’d said that only because he could tell I was anxious. I grabbed a pillow off the bed and stood to the side of the door so that he wouldn’t see me when he walked in. It made a satisfying thump when it connected with his stomach.

“Hey! What was that for?” He asked wearily, raising his hands to show me he was unarmed as I readied myself for another attack.

“For implying that I would complain about your breath.” I swung my pillow at his head, but missed. Nathan took the time that I was off balance to grab another pillow from my bed, arming himself. He smacked me on the butt while I finally did hit him over the head. We both got our fair share of hits, tickles, and kisses before falling onto the bed laughing, our legs hanging off the end.

He brushed my hair out of my face before resting his hand on my stomach. “I love you.”

My breath caught…probably not a good thing since I was already trying to catch my breath from laughing so hard… “Woah.”

“Too soon?” he asked, wincing. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I love you, too, I just wasn’t expecting you to say it first.” I grinned at him.

He kissed me deeply, before standing and pulling me up with him. He turned down the comforter and gestured for me to climb into bed. He tucked me in before turning out the light and walking around the bed to get in next to me. We fell asleep cuddled together.